In the intimate world of boudoir photography, empowerment and self-acceptance blend together, providing clients with a way to see themselves in a new light. For those with histories of trauma, boudoir can offer a path toward reclaiming one’s body, identity, and confidence. My work as a boudoir photographer has introduced me to many stories of resilience, and in this article, I want to share one such story, involving my client Lynnzee, how she found a sense of healing through boudoir photography, and explore how gendered perspectives shape the boudoir experience.
Lynnzee's Story
"For Lynnzee, each snap of the shutter was a declaration of her self-worth, a new image of herself that her trauma hadn’t defined, but that she had chosen for herself."
Lynnzee – Summer, 2024
I’d known Lynnzee for nearly twenty years. We shared a circle of close friends, and though we didn’t often speak or see each other, our friendship held steady over two decades. Through social media and updates from mutual friends, I followed her story. Last year, after nearly twelve years apart, we encountered each other at a wedding. That night, we laughed, shared more than a few drinks, and caught up as though no time had passed.
As the evening wore on, our conversation grew deeper. She confided in me about the struggles she had faced in recent years. She had just recently left an abusive relationship; her partner, the father of her children, had been consumed by addiction, and Lynnzee had often been the target of his anger. His words had aimed to break her down, to strip away her confidence and sense of self. Sometimes it was worse—he had assaulted her, leaving emotional scars that seemed even more permanent than the physical ones. The free-spirited girl I once knew, who loved horses and wore her country-girl pride boldly, had been buried under layers of pain and survival. Yet, even then, I could see traces of her unyielding spirit. In her eyes, there was still a glimmer of resilience—a spark that he hadn’t been able to extinguish. That night, she let me absorb her story, and in her vulnerability, I sensed her strength.
Earlier this summer, as I began to take photography more seriously, Lynnzee reached out. She’d seen that I had ventured into boudoir and “saucy” photography, and she was interested in a shoot of her own. For her, this wasn’t just about having a few photos; it was a chance to reclaim a part of herself that had been hidden and hurt for too long. Of course, given our long friendship, I accepted, and we set up a time. She invited a friend along for support, someone who would end up being a pillar not only for her but also for the shoot itself, grounding the space in comfort and ease.
As the shoot began, I saw her nervousness surface. Her poses felt hesitant, almost guarded, as though she was still bracing against years of self-doubt. Yet, as the session went on, an extraordinary transformation unfolded before me. Lynnzee gradually shed her hesitancy, finding a comfort that allowed her to fully step into herself. Each movement became less constrained, each expression more authentic. I watched her reclaim her strength, her light, her beauty—piece by piece, frame by frame.
For Lynnzee, each snap of the shutter was a declaration of her self-worth, a new image of herself that her trauma hadn’t defined, but that she had chosen for herself. A reclamation of her inner voice. Her sensuality. Her peace.
This experience held a profound revelation for me as well. Behind the camera, I realized that boudoir photography can be more than a celebration of physical beauty; it’s a celebration of personal power and resilience. Watching Lynnzee blossom, I saw how much strength it took for her to step out of the shadows her past had cast on her spirit. To capture that journey wasn’t just about taking photographs; it was about bearing witness to someone’s rebirth and holding a mirror up to the beauty that trauma hadn’t defeated. Her courage inspired me, reminding me of the sacred role photography can play in the healing process—both for the one in front of the camera and, often, for the one behind it.
What began as a simple shoot transformed into something far more profound. For her, it was a chance to rewrite her story. For me, it was an honour and a reminder of why I do this work: to capture not just the surface, but the essence of someone reclaiming their power and claim a sense of healing through boudoir photography.
Reclaiming the Image: Male and Female Gazes
In the realm of photography, and art in general, much has been written about the concept of the “gaze.” The male gaze has been critiqued for its historical role in objectifying women, often turning the subject into an object seen through a lens of possession or power. Filmmaker Laura Mulvey argues that the male gaze imposes a power imbalance by suggesting a sexualized way of looking that empowers men and objectifies women, often reducing them to two-dimensional characters in someone else’s story. For Mulvey, it’s apparent that the male gaze not only limits women’s autonomy in art, it shapes societal standards, subtly dictating how women are “supposed” to look and behave.
Barbie Movie (2023). Warner Bros. A rare example of the female gaze in cinema.
In contrast, the female gaze has emerged as an attempt to give power back to the subject, encouraging a more holistic, compassionate, and intimate portrayal of women and the world around them. Unlike the male gaze, which has a more clear-cut history of objectification, the female gaze is nebulous and fluid. It prioritizes emotion, strength, and the depth of a person’s experience. Yet, while the female gaze promises a more liberating view, it’s complex to define. Is it merely the inversion of the male gaze, or something entirely different? And how might it look when created by a male photographer who wants to convey the client’s narrative, strength, and personality?
In boudoir, my approach is to blend these gazes thoughtfully, balancing respect and freedom with the kind of bold storytelling my clients deserve. Each client brings a unique story, and I see my role not as one who imposes a vision, but as someone who illuminates facets of their identity that they want to celebrate. I chose to focus on their essence, showing a reflection of the beauty, resilience, and uniqueness they embody, as well as to introduce them to a way to mend their traumas, bringing them to a place of healing through boudoir photography.
Challenges and Strengths of Being a Male Boudoir Photographer
"[A] male perspective in boudoir photography can bring a unique lens that many clients appreciate—a balance of admiration and respect that bridges both understanding and appreciation."
The role of a male photographer in a largely female-centered genre brings specific challenges and considerations, especially in an area as intimate as boudoir. Many clients have concerns about vulnerability and objectification, and these are both fair and complex to address. While I can’t personally experience the female gaze, I can work to understand and honor it, always remaining conscious of the need to uphold my client’s comfort, agency, boundaries, and honour my goal to give them a sense of healing through boudoir photography.
Some clients may worry about choosing a male photographer for boudoir, wondering if the male gaze will dominate, even subconsciously. I find that clear communication, empathy, and trust-building go a long way in ensuring my clients feel at ease, enabling them to focus on their own journey instead of on my presence behind the lens. I aim to create a safe space where they can explore their self-image in ways they may never have before.
At the same time, a male perspective in boudoir photography can bring a unique lens that many clients appreciate—a balance of admiration and respect that bridges both understanding and appreciation. The goal is not only to celebrate beauty but to reflect the strength, resilience, and dignity of each client. Boudoir, at its best, is a collaborative process where we can explore vulnerability and strength in ways that are powerful for both the client and the final image.
Values and Intentions
Lynnzee and Kyle posing for a photo after a successful shoot.
My values are not just integral to my work, but intrinsic to how I approach the world at large. It is a necessity in something as personal and intimate as boudoir. I approach each session with the intent to capture a story that’s true to the client’s voice and vision. Rather than using the lens to impose an image, I work to create an environment where clients feel free to express themselves on their own terms. This means embracing my own artistic freedom responsibly, ensuring the imagery respects and celebrates the person in front of the camera.
Boudoir can be a deeply transformative space for clients, especially for those who have endured trauma. It’s an opportunity to see themselves with compassion, confidence, and beauty—qualities that trauma may have obscured over time. For Lynnzee, each image was a step toward reclaiming her identity and a visible reminder of her journey to self-empowerment. Vulnerability isn’t weakness when it comes to boudoir; it’s an act of courage and a testament to personal strength.
A Gaze Beyond Gender
Ultimately, boudoir photography transcends the concept of the gaze when we move beyond its limitations. Male or female, the power of the gaze lies in honoring a person’s dignity, complexity, and inner strength. My hope is that every session invites clients to see themselves in a way that feels empowering and genuine. The photographs, when taken with trust, empathy, shared intent, and values become more than images—they become mirrors reflecting back the beauty that each client brings to the world.
Boudoir, for many like Lynnzee, is a journey of self-rediscovery, where women can be seen as they choose to be seen, and find healing through boudoir photography. And for me, it is a privilege to help capture their story, one frame at a time.
